Parenting Lily

 It doesn't matter how much yoga I do or how prepared I think I am, sometimes I lose control. This is what I did- Checked in that she was planning to leave for school. Brought up a bag for the sketch book. Told her when school was about to start (in 15 minutes, in 5 minutes) and that she had to go because the art teacher was expecting the book. When I was told that I had to stop and I was making her not go I shouted up that I would take the book to school and she could follow. I got dressed, put my hair up and put my shoes and coat on. I went to her door and when she still told me no I took (grabbed? ripped?) the bag from her hands and went downstairs and out to my bike. I stopped as she begged me not to go and asked over and over why I was doing this and said she had been about to go.  We shouted at each other, horribly.  When I came back in she grabbed the bag back and I tried to get it back, for a moment, then stopped.  I followed her upstairs and pushed my way in...

This is just a blast off for another Monday morning when Lily singularly failed to come close to leaving on time. I was more pushy this morning, but careful not to sound angry with her.  Are you nearly ready to go? It's 8.15am How close are you? What's the hold up? Time to put your shoes on. We are trying some melatonin pills and although she says she gets to sleep quicker we see no change in the impulse to get up.  She was downstairs and putting shoes on at 9am (school starts at 8.40am) and then drifted into the kitchen to choose, segment and eat a tomato.  I told her that it looked like she had given up all pretense of trying to ever get to school on time.  I told her the later waking up time wasn't working (we are knocking on her door at 7.30am instead of 6.45am) - my alarm goes off at 7am she tells me.  Well, get up at 7am then, I say.  Then I reminded her about her exams.  I said, You will need to get into school at 8am for your exams, Mr R said s...

Lily is 15 and a half. She is clever and creative, articulate and reflective.   Sometimes. She is also obstinate, obstructive, rude and closed off, sometimes. It is 5 days since she was diagnosed with autism and we are now waiting to hear whether she also has ADHD.  The diagnosis was not exactly a surprise but I had prepared myself for not getting one as I thought she would struggle more if that were the outcome.  We had also both been more focused on the ADHD having gone to a talk about it together, at the beginning if January.  I didn't realise she saw ADHD as a bit more common and a bit more "socially acceptable" (her words) but I did know that an ASD diagnosis would be complicated by the fact that her older, aggressive and disruptive brother was also diagnosed 2 and a half years ago. I'm thinking for a moment - why am I measuring the half years?  well of course, it is because when you are parenting non-neuro typical kids (especially when you don't know ...