Skip to main content

late again

This is just a blast off for another Monday morning when Lily singularly failed to come close to leaving on time.

I was more pushy this morning, but careful not to sound angry with her. 

Are you nearly ready to go?

It's 8.15am

How close are you?

What's the hold up?

Time to put your shoes on.

We are trying some melatonin pills and although she says she gets to sleep quicker we see no change in the impulse to get up.  She was downstairs and putting shoes on at 9am (school starts at 8.40am) and then drifted into the kitchen to choose, segment and eat a tomato.  I told her that it looked like she had given up all pretense of trying to ever get to school on time.  I told her the later waking up time wasn't working (we are knocking on her door at 7.30am instead of 6.45am) - my alarm goes off at 7am she tells me.  Well, get up at 7am then, I say.  Then I reminded her about her exams.  I said,

You will need to get into school at 8am for your exams, Mr R said so.  It's not get in for 8.45am, it's pens on paper at 8.45am. 

She looked shocked.

Then I said,

And if they don't seem bothered that you are getting in late it's because they've given up, they don't care anymore.  They don't care what you do next because they are finished with you.

I don't expect anything I say to make any difference but I want to remember that I did say it.

I think she thinks she will do it when she has to but unfortunately that just betrays that she does not truly believe she has to now.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

there's always tomorrow

How do I break down the contradictions in Lily's idea of who she is versus what she does and how she shows herself to be? Yesterday she told us at dinner that she is having a competition with her best friend to see who can be the most tanned this Summer. Husband and I bit our tongues and merely nodded with interest. We wanted to say: "You do know that to get a tan you have to be up when the sun is up?" or "You do know that to get a tan you have to go outside?" But it was suddenly clear to me that in her head she was a completely different person - one who jumps around beaches with lithe brown limbs and lies back on picnic rugs with sand between her toes.  I remembered my own Baywatch-based alter-ego. My dream had always been to lose weight and magically change my coarse curly hair for one of those glossy bouncing pony-tails.  Those kinds of daydreams are precious at any time in our lives but especially for a teenager. So it was good that Husband and I didn't...

Flipping Days and Nights

I am almost certain that Lily did not go to bed last night. Despite all reminders and a day without any exams (and consequently not going to school) yesterday, she apparently forgot the deadline for the second art sketchbook which was today. She made it into her physics exam this morning but apparently nearly stopped and sought medical help because she said her vision was blurring.  She told me she might have an allergy, "that's what the medic said".  It's been pouring with rain for 48 hours.  I don't need to check the pollen count (but I do), it's low and she's never suffered particularly.  I don't think it's allergies I tell her. She shrugs and says she needs to have a lie down, she didn't get much sleep last night. She's decided she doesn't need the melatonin anymore and I think she's cramming all night, going to the exam first thing, home by midday and then sleeping till, well, I wake her up. She's eaten dinner with us the l...

Unceasing Character Assassination (UCA)

This is an unstoppable verbal torrent which contains some inciteful observations, some creative metaphors and lots of criticism, distain, incredulity and outrage. It is spoken with insistence and without a break.  There are almost no rhetorical questions that I can think of and most of it is therefore phrased as a definitive account of what 'you do' and what 'you think'. It comes after an argument/melt down and feels, at first, like something one should respect.  Both husband and I have experienced these and some instinct tell us there is merit in letting Lily get these things off her chest. There might be useful learning on both sides and an opportunity for us to acknowledge where we have made a mistake, or explain further why we said or did something that we did. The trouble is, it is very hard to get a word in edge ways and even less likely that what we say will be given any credence. Above all, there is no reduction in fervour.  If anything, she becomes more vindict...