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Rollercoaster

I went away for an overnight mini break last week.  

It was a good reminder of how good doing that can be, not just for me, but for the people I think won't be able to cope without me. Of course they do, in fact, they step up to the mark and do stuff that they never do when I'm around.

Lily has been consistently failing to get out to school on time, she still had mock exams to catch up with but the results were coming back for the ones she had managed to do and they were not good.  She has been getting to school 'at some point' and in something resembling school uniform.  By 9am each morning I have been withdrawing to start my own work and conserve my energy.  I knew school wouldn't be happy but what am I supposed to tell them?  We are not 'letting' her stay at home but we cannot get her out any faster or any more reliably.  On the morning of my trip she tried to get me to agree to her leaving late and when I didn't she left late anyway.  She'd forgotten I  was going away and was mildly alarmed but I knew it wouldn't make a great difference to her.

That evening she did not engage with husband, wouldn't eat with him, stayed in her room.  Husband went to the pub for a nicer atmosphere and left her to it.  

The next morning, as expected, no real effort on Lily's part to get up on time or much sign of going to school at all.  However, husband could see that this was not simply a bolshy teenager, sneering at the system and taking the piss.  It was so useful for me to have him experience one of these mornings.  Before he left he managed to go into her room and talk to her properly.  He held the line that she needed to go to school but was sympathetic that she still found so many things difficult.  He told her he was turning the wifi off and she could collect her phone from him on her way to school then left her to it.

Husband and I spoke over the phone and I was surprised how quickly he agreed with me that it was time to talk to school about a plan B because I just could not see her achieving these GCSEs.  It looks like she simply has no reserves to draw on to keep herself going.  I fired off an email and went out for the second day of my city break.

My day didn't go quite as planned when my friend took a tumble and fell on her wrist which was only days out of a cast from a break from a previous fall.  By the time we had her checked out at the hospital I was ready to come home and I was bracing myself for all the energy I would need for reassuring and rebuilding Lily.  

Here comes the rollercoaster - Lily was not at home when I got back.  She had been to see husband (it was end of school time when I got home), told him she had been in school for the afternoon but had spent her morning cleaning and hoovering her room because she thought maybe the fact it was such a filthy tip was making it harder for her to get up.  She has her exam results, they are not great but they are all a pass.  She was properly buzzy at dinner time and made it out the next day for the last day before the Easter holidays.  

I spoke to the head of year the next day but of course it all looked ok again for him.  I had wanted to talk about repeating years, retakes and plan Bs but it was just a case of fingers crossed and let's hope she makes it...still.  

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