Parenting Lily

For husband and myself this has been an amazing Easter. We feel free. We drove to the coast, ate fish and chips and made a surprise visit to some old friends and colleagues husband hasn't seen since the children came. Easter Sunday, husband did an Easter egg hunt in the garden which has become a tradition after our first child-centred Easter when we left it too late to get big eggs so got lots of little ones but the squirrels were stealing all them all from their hiding places before we could get the kids out hunting! It's a grey day but we've got our hot tub out and I've got some fancy food lined up for Sunday dinner but all of this is passing Lily by.  We invited her to join us in everything, the table has a pretty collection of flowers and eggs and chocolate and she had two surprises from her grandparents when she made it downstairs at about 1pm today. I think I've seen her for half an hour in total since Friday.  She got all hissy when husband told her to bring ...

I went away for an overnight mini break last week.   It was a good reminder of how good doing that can be, not just for me, but for the people I think won't be able to cope without me. Of course they do, in fact, they step up to the mark and do stuff that they never do when I'm around. Lily has been consistently failing to get out to school on time, she still had mock exams to catch up with but the results were coming back for the ones she had managed to do and they were not good.  She has been getting to school 'at some point' and in something resembling school uniform.  By 9am each morning I have been withdrawing to start my own work and conserve my energy.  I knew school wouldn't be happy but what am I supposed to tell them?  We are not 'letting' her stay at home but we cannot get her out any faster or any more reliably.  On the morning of my trip she tried to get me to agree to her leaving late and when I didn't she left late anyway.  She'd fo...

Lily says, My window was open! Why should I say sorry when it wasn't my fault? I didn't know there was a problem if a door slams. I had just called up to her angrily that she had to absolutely be out by 8.15am after she decided to take her phone back upstairs with her despite my protestations. Unusually she had come down about 7.30am, all chatty, looking for me - big hug - getting ready for her first full week of school attendance. Twenty minutes later, both of us in tears in different rooms, Husband asking me what he should do and wanting to help, mother-in-law cowering downstairs...@~#{£%&**! I am trying very hard to lower my stress levels.  I am very overweight and in my 50s. I have 2 aunts who died from ovarian cancer in their late 50s and 60s and I had a smear test booked for today (which the nurse has just cancelled).  I think a lot of people might tell me to withdraw from Lily and let her manage things on her own, that she is old enough.  If we had come to this...